Recently on “hold off, Is This a romantic date?” we are joined by Autostraddle Chief Executive Officer and

L Word

specialist
Riese Bernard
to talk about: The Chart. You heard that right! This event is focused on lesbian interconnectivity — connecting with friends’ exes, pals starting up with your exes, plus the culture produced by all that crisis.

Arrive for all the news, stay when it comes down to psychological control. And before that enjoy a game title that assessments Christina’s limits: Would U-Haul? (Spoiler alert: she generally speaking wouldn’t.)

Many thanks for all the wonderful feedback after the premiere! If you haven’t yet think about providing us with a rating or examine!

SHOW RECORDS

+ Five years ago Riese developed an
Old Hollywood data
that’s the intersection of all of the my passions.

+ Discover
the essay
I reference in which We mention hooking up with my roommates.

+ My personal crush of few days Mj Rodriguez released a songs movie for her song
“something you should Say”
!

+ As someone who has only seen a handful of episodes of

The Nanny

this montage
of Christina’s crush in the week C.C. Babcock was surprising in my experience with regards to turned-out she and Niles commonly both homosexual. (Christina tells me they basically still tend to be.)

---

Drew:

I’d end up being really fine along with it current. I would personally never ever include somebody else without their unique permission. Nevertheless thought of anytime some one had been like, “concur that you are connected with me,” I’d end up like, “Yeah, it’s the life I resided. I don’t care about.” Is the fact that odd? Would be that an issue?

Christina:

No, as if I wasn’t, I would feel poor not being. I would resemble, “Wait, I’m not sleeping?”

Theme song plays

Drew:

Hi, I Am Drew.

Christina:

Hi, I Am Christina.

Drew:

And thanks for visiting

Wait, Is It A Romantic Date?

Christina:


Hold Off, So Is This A Night Out Together?

is actually an Autostraddle podcast inquiring the major questions. To start with, is-it a night out together? Exactly what are times? Who will be dates? Will we like dates? They are sort of concerns we answer on this right here incredibly expert and lovely podcast.

Drew:

My name is Drew Gregory. I am an author at Autostraddle and a filmmaker and, famously, a trans lesbian.

Christina:

My name is Christina Tucker. I’m also an author at Autostraddle. I am a loud queer on the web. Im getting better at describing myself personally as a writer and, notoriously, a lesbian. Which is you. That is just who we are.

Drew:

Yeah. And thus all of our primary topic recently will be the Chart.

Christina:

I just believed it needed a sting. I’m not sure. That believed really dramatic, but i believe it required it.

Drew:

Yes. No, please, kindly, kindly. Many thanks, thank you. No, no, no. The best level of crisis.

Christina:

Thank-you.

Drew:

Yeah. So we’re discussing lesbian interconnectivity.

Christina:

I favor that expression since it feels like you need to resume the lesbians. It may sound just like the internet access isn’t functioning.

Drew:

Yes. it is extremely advanced level, very futuristic, and has existed since there’s been lesbians, i do believe.

Christina:

Yeah. I believe scholars will say when they discovered the very first lesbian fossils, they discovered a chart alongside of these created into the mud. And that I believe that’s exactly what that film is all about, right? It is more about the chart? That motion picture with Kate Winslet and sand fossils?

Drew:


Ammonite?

Christina:

Yeah, that’s what it’s about.

Drew:

I wish

Ammonite

involved cavern women. I would view that lesbian flick.

Christina:

Really, when I haven’t seen it, i will courageously say that it actually was. Cool.

Drew:

Yeah. Since it is like we now have many lesbian duration parts, but we have never ever gone back that far. And I believe it’s the perfect time we do.

Christina:

Why don’t we just hold taking it further back in time.

Drew:

Before we become to our major subject, you are still learning you. And I believed it will be fun to tackle a game title the place you men could actually get to know Christina. Thus the icebreaker with this week is actually slightly online game that I name “Would U-Haul.”

Christina:

I am, once more, very pressured about that. This might you need to be the way I come into the game. This might be my personal game mindset, somewhat high-key, some stressed. That is okay. We are all discovering.

Drew:

I think that is great. I do believe that can make you more susceptible, possibly.

Christina:

Among my favorite emotions.

Drew:

Just a terror, just an acute terror. So the way that “Would U-Haul” works is actually i’ll describe a scenario. Let’s refer to it as Christina enthusiast fiction. And I’m probably pause after each small part getting love, “Okay, Christina, i understand which you have never ever resided with a partner, do not want to live with somebody. But under these scenarios, would U-Haul?”

Christina:

And I also will often say yes or I’ll state, “i am ready.”

Drew:

If you do not — well, we will see here. But I’m thrilled. I believe i have perhaps cracked the signal.

Christina:

You have cracked the code? I’m thrilled.

Drew:

Let us find out how long this requires. Assuming you won’t ever do, I think you victory? I don’t know exactly how you will find champions right here.

Christina:

I am not sure that we now have champions when you look at the video game of U-Hauling.

Drew:

Really, I’m not sure if you’ll trust that after that. So I’m going to get heading.

Christina:

Reasonable sufficient.

Drew:

Okay. So, Christina.

this

Christina:

Drew.

Drew:

You’re at your buddy’s wedding. In spite of the large number of romcoms you have taken in, you probably did maybe not head to this marriage considering you’d satisfy any individual because, well, this is simply not a romcom. This is actually the genuine and normal longevity of Christina Grace Tucker. You take your assigned seat and are also glancing at your cellphone when you realize a female at the table wants at you. She introduces by herself as your buddy’s former baby-sitter. She is stayed a buddy from the household, but she does not truly know any individual there. She appears to be mid-forties and contains a striking angular face. You set about chatting. She proposes to provide a drink. So when she rises, you realize she actually is six feet tall, 6′ 3″ in heels. Which means you know very well what? I am merely going to stop there and get want, at this time, would U-Haul?

Christina:

I’m intrigued. I’m fascinated because I might get set at the marriage. But up to now I’m not U-Hauling everywhere.

Drew:

Cool. That’s totally reasonable. Entirely reasonable. Okay. So you spend entire wedding learning each other. Absolutely only an immediate spark and quick biochemistry. And yes, you do hook-up and the gender is actually incredible.

Christina:

Tight.

Drew:

And therefore this wedding ceremony was in Northern Ca. And that means you both expand your remains for a few times to bang and check out and consume at restaurants and bang. And you supply to split the cost of the now joint room, but she laughs you off and it is similar, “clearly maybe not, honey.” Therefore, the subsequent three days are magic. You are feeling your own walls tumbling down. You’re slipping quicker than you ever before have. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

Thus only for clarity’s benefit, i am having trouble imagining a global for which we got three surprise days off try to spend time with a person I do maybe not know. That looks bonkers. However if used to do, advantageous to me. But i am not really U-Hauling at this time. It will be a no.

Drew:

Great. Okay. That is fine. You just came across. I have it. I get it. Okay.

Christina:

Thank you a great deal.

Drew:

So she comes back to nyc and you also go back to Philadelphia.

Christina:

This is where We live.

Drew:

And you are texting constantly. That is where you live and it’s also where this lady resides. And you are texting on a regular basis while see one another multiple times 30 days. She is really busy together work, but she actually is quick buying you a train pass in order to arrive see the lady and remain at the woman stunning brownstone in Fort Greene. Following 6 months go. Plus one evening if you are out over supper, she asks you to definitely move around in together. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

And proceed to New York? Really don’t really like New York. No, I am not transferring on 6 months level. I am not carrying out that, no.

Drew:

Okay, okay. Entirely, entirely, totally. Wow. Okay. You hold internet dating long-distance. She understands that you may need some time and she is ready to wait a little for you. A few more several months pass. It is today been over per year. Your own property owner informs you that they’re attempting to sell your home to a developer that’s installing apartments, you can’t restore it. You’ll want to get a hold of another location. Your now sweetheart lets you know that no force, but her offer still appears. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

Okay. Now, I would personally U-Haul for 2 explanations.

Drew:

Yay! Okay. Kindly tell us.

Christina:

Mainly, in some sort of for which my personal landlord sold the house in order to develop it, my personal property owner is my closest friend, so as that appears like something went completely wrong within our friendship. And that I might choose to simply keep Philadelphia in any event. If in case I have to go in using my girlfriend over right here, that seems great. Which is great. Totally great. But yeah, In my opinion i would need an external energy like a mean landlord.

Drew:

That is very — ok. I did believe that might need certainly to require housing for truth be told there, therefore I’m happy We understood that.

Christina:

Yeah. That is just what actually must happen to me personally first.

Drew:

Really, i am grateful to understand what it takes. So theoretically, if perhaps you weren’t kicked out, how much more hours?

Christina:

Truthfully, might have gone on for a long time. Philly and New York commonly also that not both. I got room over right here. We are bouncing backwards and forwards. We are having happy times. I possibly could have let that roll for a long period until i suppose Shoshana becomes the worst individual i am aware.

Drew:

I did not understand that Shoshana owned your house. Really, there you are going.

Christina:

There we get. Wow, that has been thrilling.

Drew:

Well, thanks for playing.

Christina:

I’m stressed, are obvious.

Drew:

And that I’m happy that I’m sure… Maybe in case you are ever, therefore if anybody’s ever internet dating both you and desires that relocate, maybe the girl told Shoshana to sell the home in the interests of the connection.

Christina:

Truthfully the quickest means — someone would simply have to communicate with Shoshana and get similar, “simply kick her around.” And then she’d resemble, “Yeah, sure. Definitely.” That could be the way it took place, although she did not sell the house. Some one would just be like, “are you able to just kick this lady away so she’ll only get over it and move in beside me?” And she’d state yes. Double she would do that. That is what relationship is actually.

Drew:

I favor that.

Christina:

Yeah, which is really breathtaking.

Drew:

Really, I feel like we learned a large amount about yourself.

Christina:

Thanks. I believe like We learned plenty about myself personally, as well. Risk of homelessness is truly the point that keeps myself transferring any circumstance, i assume. Wow.

Drew:

Well, that’s fantastic.

Christina:

Which was actually thrilling. I’m just as excited to go into the main phase because i believe speaking about lesbian connection because of this visitor, because of this special guest, i do believe it will likely be amazing, Drew. Exactly how could you be experiencing?

Drew:

I am so thrilled. This is exactly a specialist. And also by that, What i’m saying is an

L Keyword

specialist, but additionally some a specialist inside the subject at hand.

Christina:

In my opinion a few things is generally genuine, my good friend. I believe a few things may be correct undoubtedly. Will we wanna present the guest or will we wish our visitor introducing themselves?

Drew:

I’d love the guest to introduce herself.

Christina:

Guest.

Drew:

I shall declare that our very own guest could be the one and only Riese Bernard.

Christina:

Guest, communicate.

Riese:

Hi, I Am Riese. And it’s really weird are the guest!

Christina:

Yeah, it is.

Riese:

I experienced to not state something. I didn’t also do it. I did so say circumstances. I got to stay right here quietly.

Christina:

Therefore were truly brave. And your faces happened to be appreciated.

Riese:

Thanks a lot much.

Christina:

Though this really is obviously an audio average, I want all of our audience to find out that Riese was actually creating some very nice response faces during “Would U-Haul.”

Riese:

Absolutely different ways getting heard. You know what i am talking about? That is what i say. Im the President of Autostraddle.com. And that I’m also on an undefeated kickball group. That is certainly myself. I’ve your pet dog known as Carol. And that I have dated men and women.

Christina:

Congrats about kickball!

Riese:

Thank-you. I’ve been associated with men and women.

Christina:

Great. Adoring that. That’s fantastic to carry to the, this right here internet dating podcast. Which is excellent.

Riese:

Yeah. In my opinion that… Is there anything?

Drew:

No, i believe that’s great, Riese.

Christina:

What you may like to discuss.

Riese:

I really like raspberries, the fresh fruit raspberries, and pools.

Christina:

In Contrast to…

Riese:

You Understand when someone goes like…

Drew:

It really is like as soon as you strike. Yeah.

Christina:

Oh. Those tend to be terrible, therefore I merely evacuated them from my personal brain.

Riese:

Yeah. And that’s all.

Christina:

Great.

Drew:

Really, we straight away thought of you for this topic.

Christina:

That’s true.

Drew:

Because firstly, clearly, queer women and non-binary folks in lesbian area have now been like, I don’t know, having sexual intercourse with folks who people they know have experienced gender with since a long time before

The L Keyword

had been previously a set. But i really do feel

The L Term

solidified a particular social thought of the information with Alice Pieszecki. And so I felt like you would have many insight into this subject.

Riese:

It’s real. A couple of people, i do want to say, of

The L Keyword

had this genuine data of these as well as their friends these were attracting from the wall surface or whatever. And Guinevere Turner, I think, ended up being one among them. She chatted to us regarding it, which they had created this. Because certainly, everybody because blogger’s space had banged others in publisher — you know, plus the extensive internet of this generation of lesbians in la. And they also saw can they certainly were like, “Let’s place it inside tv show.” Several of them are on the data. Like, one particular whom … like, real folks are throughout the information as a tale.

Christina:

That’s wonderful. That is the method that you understand you have made it.

Riese:

Isn’t really that attractive?

Christina:

That will be exciting in my situation.

Riese:

And so when you haven’t seen

The L Keyword,

first of all, congrats. Second, it will become the centerpiece of just one of your direct fictional character, Alice’s, apartment. She’s all of it over her wall structure. Looked after will be the name of a web page which they started labeled as ourchart.com that flopped. And also the concept … and it is for the pilot, In my opinion. Into the initial episode, Alice starts talking about how every person’s connected, because everyone’s installed with this individual. And I can hook up you, as you’re most likely at the most two levels from myself. And that ended up being genuine. Like, despite having Dana, who had limited experience because she was actually a closeted tennis member, they nonetheless managed to connect the girl. That is certainly real world because it’s true.

Christina:

Which is culture. Yeah. That is what society appears like.

Riese:

That is tradition. Which is queer society there. And now every person tends to make their very own charts.

Christina:

Yeah. In order that would end up being my personal subsequent question, was actually have actually either people made a chart? Because Really don’t imagine We have, I am also kind of today considering like, the thing that was this last year sitting at my house for easily did not create a chart? Like, the thing that was the point of that, truly?

Riese:

I believe i have accomplished it during my diary, in the same way like … Because I like, I am not sure, organizing details, i suppose, as a thought exercise.

Christina:

Yeah, i do believe that’s in addition why I am amazed that I haven’t done it. I love the idea of categorizing circumstances.

Riese:

Appropriate. Yeah. Because it’s interesting. I am not sure exactly why it’s thus interesting, however it is. It really is interesting to get similar, wow, all these men and women, they’re connected. Its wild.

Drew:

Regarding the program, once ourchart.com is actually formulated, they usually have a real chart that individuals will add material. And I also feel something that you joked when it comes to on

To L and Back,

and then people state constantly is like, if this existed in a genuine means, no one would put their unique labels upon it, no-one would feel at ease getting their particular brands about it.

Riese:

You might.

Drew:

I might. I would personally end up being very great along with it existing. I would personally never ever add another person without their own authorization. Nevertheless the thought of like, everytime some body was like, “make sure you will be linked to me personally,” I would resemble, “Yeah, it’s the life I’ve lived. I don’t worry about.” Is weird? Is problematic?

Christina:

No, because if I becamen’t, i’d feel bad not-being … i’d be like, “hold off, I am not upon it? Like, i’m very sorry, exactly what?” No, that could really deliver myself into a light ethical panic about whom Im as an individual, the thing I’m carrying out. Are I interesting? Perform people {like